


But all the dissonance disappears from me

by firstbreaths



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstbreaths/pseuds/firstbreaths
Summary: “We have to do something, birthdays are a rite of passage.” She begins ticking them off her fingers. “Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Sabrina the Teenage Witch."“Sixteen Candles. The Great Gatsby."Rory plans a celebration for Jess' birthday. Set during s3.





	But all the dissonance disappears from me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the mods - fandom wouldn't be as fun or rewarding without people willing to run these type of fests - and to Kris in particular for being an excellent beta.

It’s a warm Monday morning in late March when Rory walks into the diner to see Jess scowling at Lorelai, and Luke behind the counter pouring coffee, trying to pretend like he’s any place but in his own establishment.

“What’s going on?” she asks, sliding into her seat before leaning over and stealing a piece of toast from the plate in front of her mom.

“It’s Jess’ birthday on Thursday,” Lorelai says. “And here I was, thinking I’d never have an opportunity to bring out the 99 cent pack of bulk party hats I bought on sale at Doose’s.”

“You bought a —“ Luke says to Lorelai, before adding, “never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“Rory’s pet rabbit Flopsy was going to be the cutest thing at her fourth grade show and tell. Of course, we probably should have bought the rabbit first.”

Jess turns to face Luke. “Why did you tell her? Next thing, the whole town’s going to know.”

Rory laughs. “At least Taylor’s unlikely to name a birthday dessert after you. And you don’t have to worry about the town troubadour trying to come up with rhymes for Rory.”

Jess shakes his head. “This town is _crazy_.”

“Don’t I know it.”

**

Later, as Jess walks her to the bus stop, Rory finds herself continuing the conversation regardless.

“We have to do something, birthdays are a rite of passage.” She begins ticking them off her fingers. “ _Lord of the Rings_ , _Harry Potter_ , _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_.”

“ _Sixteen Candles_ . _The Great Gatsby_.”

“I don’t know, you seem like the kind of guy who’d enjoy a portentous, menacing road. The long, lonely years ahead, seems like your kind of outlook on life.”

“Maybe.” Jess shrugs, but there’s something half-hearted about it. Odd. Jess doesn’t usually put a lot of effort into things, but he’s always been determined to show how little he cares through the force of his shrug.

“You should know that birthdays are a big deal to Gilmores,” Rory says. “If my mom hadn’t gone into labor so suddenly, she would have thought to bring the massive bag of party horns she had stowed under her bed.” She pauses. “Which is kind of inappropriate, now that I picture it. But the point is —“

“Can we just let this go, Rory?” Jess says. He’s scowling again. “I don’t want to celebrate my birthday.”

“Fine.” Rory crosses her arms.

“Good. Now can we make out for five minutes before your bus leaves for Brideshead’s Castle?”

Rory pretends to think about it for a moment. She’s a little upset that he’s being such a child about this, that he hadn’t even told her that it was his birthday, let alone that he didn’t intend to celebrate, but that’s Jess and, well.

She’s learnt that as she starts to ponder a future with Jess, the best way forward is to take things one day at a time.

(Also, she hasn’t told him that. _Yet._ )

“Only if you promise to stop calling Chilton that. And promise me you’ll at least _think_ about doing something for your birthday.”

“You’re wasting your time, Rory,” Jess says, but he leans in to kiss her anyway.

**

Still, Rory stays awake that night, wondering — she doesn’t like to pry into Jess’ personal life, mostly because she’s not sure how to ask the questions she wants answers to without coming across as insensitive. However, she’s gathered enough intel to know that Jess’ mom isn’t the best, or most reliable, and that Liz certainly wouldn’t have been the type to sneak into his bed at exactly three minutes past four in the morning and tell him the story of his origins. And, she knows she was probably insensitive, telling Jess about how much Lorelai loves to celebrate her own birth, but — Rory can’t imagine not sharing such an important part of her life with someone.

(Since she found out it’s his birthday, she’s already written some notes in the margins of her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ as a present; things she’d never say out loud but hopes he knows from the way their hands brush under the table when he eats with them at the diner in the mornings, the contentedness in her voice as they compare notes on _The Fountainhead_ over the phone at two am, the way she’s gotten slowly braver, almost rebellious with her kisses, even as he’s gotten more nuanced, a little more patient).

She’ll figure something out.

**

“You know,” Lane says, when Rory goes to her about this, “maybe you should defer to Jess on this one. If he doesn’t want to celebrate, then don’t.”

“When did you get so wise about boys?”

“Well, when you can’t date a boy, you read a lot of romance novels,” Lane says, reaching her hand deep in the bowl of candy on the coffee table. “Man, who knew sugar could be so addictive? My mom’s latest craze is raw tofu.”

Rory swallows her own mouthful of candy. “Mrs Kim still being difficult?”

“Dave has been reading me passages from the Bible over the phone, in a last ditch effort to make me suffer as much as he did.”

“Is it working?”

Lane shakes her head. “I get distracted by how dreamy his voice is when he reads.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s something in the Bible against that.”

Lane gives her a withering glare that has less impact than it should, given that she’s also attempting to stuff another handful of candy in her mouth.

“You’re right,” Rory says, laughing at her friend, “go forth and sin.”

**

“Why are you talking to _me_ about this?” Paris asks, slamming her tray down on the cafeteria table. Madeline jumps to avoid the splash of pasta sauce. “Harvard doesn’t treat relationship advice as an extracurricular, so my advice is likely to be meaningless.”

“Well,” Rory says, quickly, “Jess seemed to like you, that time we all hung out after school, so I thought you might have some useful advice, since you’re one of the few people I’ve ever known him to agree with. Also, things seem to be going well between you and Jamie.”

“That’s right,” Paris says, “He might have read Jane Austen, but he was suspiciously silent on the Bronte sisters.”

“HIs favourite is Anne. I’m pretty sure he shed a tear of joy when Helen left Arthur.”

“Interesting.”

“You know,” Louise pipes up, clearly bored with the conversation, “you could always offer him something a little more _personal_.”

“That’s it,” Paris cries. “Rory, I’ll have a list of suggestions for you by the end of the day. In the meantime, Louise, if you’re not careful someone will lock _you_ in an attic.”

**

Paris means well, and Rory _did_ make the mistake of going to her for advice, but discussing Bush’s recent changes to the taxation system or the recent genocide in Somalia was _not_ what she had in mind.

**

On Wednesday, Jess meets her at the bus stop after school. It’s become a ritual of theirs, one she’ll almost be sad to give up in a few weeks time.

“What are we doing tomorrow night?” he asks, after giving her a quick kiss.

“I thought you’d decided that birthdays were the ultimate faux paux.”

“They are, but,” Jess swallows, “I still figured you’d want to do something besides, you know, homework.”

“You know homework is important.”

“You’re going to get into Harvard,” Jess says matter of factly, like he’s a weatherman predicting that it’s going to rain.

“I’ll get into Harvard because I did my homework. And wrote a bunch of articles for the Franklin. And somehow stupidly let Paris talk me into being student council vice president.”

She tactfully doesn’t mention Yale, or the tension in her gut when she thinks about the choice she may have to make in a few weeks.

(Besides, while she likes to think she’s not stupid enough to make her decisions about college based on a boy, Yale gives her the opportunity to be close to Jess. She makes a mental note to look up the distance.)

“Exactly. You’re a genius. You can manage a Thursday night without homework.”

“Fine then,” Rory says, giving him a quick jab in the side and grinning, “want to come to the basketball game with me? I believe Lane will be there with the cheerleading squad.”

“I was thinking about comparing notes on our favourite Sylvia Plath poems.”

“A _Happy Days_ marathon, with popcorn?”

“Deal.”

They walk the long way to Luke’s, holding hands (and occasionally sneaking a kiss in the shadows behind Miss Patty’s dance school, and Rory wonders how Jess, with all his hothead, asshole tendencies, can make her feel so calm about what’s ahead. (Paris would claim that’s a sign she’s not mentally tough enough to get into a single Ivy League school. Lane would ask when the wedding’s scheduled. Rory just thinks it’s a sign you don’t necessarily need to have a birthday to be coming of age.)

**

Eventually, she thinks of an idea, but first — she has to ask Luke.

“Your mother would be horrified if she heard this,” Kirk says, after she asks, not even trying to pretend like he hadn’t been eavesdropping on every word.

“Well, as Lorelai would say, nothing gets in the way of a good party,” Rory says.

Lorelai chooses that moment to enter the diner, and nods solemnly as she says, “Samuel Adams has nothing on me.”

“You’ve never drunk a cup of tea in your life,” Luke says, but he winks at Rory as he turns away to pour Lorelai a coffee.

She hopes one day Jess will understand how much Luke cares for him.

**

On the night of Jess’ birthday, Rory waits upstairs at Luke’s, watching the candle on the side table flicker. Nervousness settles in the pit of her stomach like an apple core, an all too familiar feeling these days, and she forces it down.

Jess arrives a moment later, muttering something under his breath about Luke having a few screws loose himself (he’d unscrewed the hinge on the sandwich toaster so that he’d have an excuse to send Jess upstairs looking for the tools to fix it).

There’s a takeout container of Szechwan chicken from Al’s Pancake World sitting in the middle of the table, with two sets of chopsticks. Next to it is a copy of _The Life of Pi_ (Rory’s), and the annotated copy of _Pride and Prejudice._

“Happy birthday,” Rory says. “This is all yours. No obligations, no expectations. No town troubadour.”

“A shame, _paisano._ ”

“Funny.”

Jess pulls out a chair and sinks into it. “I can’t believe you convinced Luke to bring food from Al’s Pancake World into his establishment.”

“There was a lot of protesting,” Rory says, with a smirk. “Also, I promised that next time Mom and I eat here, I’d allow him to put vegetables on both our plates.”

“That’s easy, just grab a —“

“Unfortunately, lettuce on a burger doesn’t count.”

“Man, you really went out of your way for me.”

‘I know,” Rory replies. She can feel herself blushing, but it doesn't matter; Jess won’t judge. “I know you don’t like birthdays, but I wanted to do something anyway, something without expectations.” She gives him a slight grin. “Pip.”

“Charles Dickens is overrated,” Jess says.

There’s a moment’s silence where Rory contemplates how to every begin tackling that issue.

“Thanks,” Jess says, and he doesn’t shrug his shoulders, or try to deflect, so she knows that he means it. “For — for everything.”

_You’re welcome_ seems too trite for this situation, so instead, Rory says. “remind me sometime to tell you about my birthday party in sophomore year sometime. Let’s just say Emily Gilmore was involved.”

“Was there a fight? Please tell me someone got involved in an all-out brawl.”

“That someone may have been me. Although it was less of a brawl, and more of a full-scale meltdown.”

“You Gilmores do know how to party.”

Rory leans over and gives Jess a quick peck on the lips, before picking up her chopsticks. “Now, shut up, read your book, and eat.”

**

(Jess never tells Rory directly what he thinks about her gift, but a week later he sneakily leaves her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ on her pillow with a comment inside the front cover that just says _thanks for the party, Gatsby.)_

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Birthdays" by the Smith Street Band.


End file.
